Atmosphere

空気を読む.

"Read the atmosphere."

This is the first thing that shows up on Google image search when you put in that phrase. I don't know what the frog has to do with anything.

This is something you're generally expected to do in Japanese society.

This is something I was bad at doing even in American society.

Japan is all about subtext. Nuance. Implied meaning. Hidden meaning. Sometimes opposite meaning. You say "sorry" to say "thank you" sometimes.

This nuance is everywhere. This was absolutely terrifying for me during my first year here. I am God awful at recognizing context clues even when they're really obvious. I have to have people point things out to me all the time that most people can figure out on their own. Back when I was a kid, a girl once called me on the phone, on the house phone, going through my parents, that I had never really interacted with too much, and nervously said hello and asked me if I knew any good jokes. I was like "nope, sorry," and hung up the phone, thinking, "that was weird."

Things did not improve from that point forward.

A hard-headed guy like me living in a world of hidden meanings was a nightmare in the beginning. "Would you like to" means "you should." "Aren't you hot?" means you missed the memo that it's cool biz (summer clothes) now. "Some people do this" means "you should do this." I had to have this all pointed out to me, and by other foreigners, because Japanese people were too polite to tell me I was doing anything wrong.

And it goes far beyond words. Sometimes people will just inhale through their teeth, like a hot air balloon inflating. That means no. Actually, it specifically means they want to say no but they don't want to be impolite about it so they just do that noise until you get the picture. You can stay outside a restaurant that's full or ask a teacher a question in front of the entire class and get that response. And, in my case, stand there like an idiot repeating the question over and over as the air in the room gets increasingly awkward and they just keep making the noise, only louder.

I once sat in on a world history class at one of my schools, on a lesson on cultural differences. "Americans say what they feel," the teacher said, "but we Japanese like to read people's faces."

"Americans don't really do that, do they?" She asked me.

"Oh yeah, we do," I answered instinctively. "Well, I guess not compared to Japanese people," I added.

By comparison, we Americans must seem like we don't read anything. The subtext puddle in this country is deep, my friends, like an ocean.

Looking back at the loud and boisterous and culturally insensitive things I did in my first year, it's hard not to feel stupid.

But at the same time, I know it wasn't entirely my fault, and that I was acclimating to a new environment. Sometimes you need to go easy on yourself and accept that there's no way you could have known at the time, even if it is embarrassing in hindsight. And the truth is, most Japanese people that I've met are very understanding and forgiving, because they recognize that we're a fish out of water.

Actual photo of new ALT at their desk.

Japan has taught me a lot of things, and I think recognizing context clues is one of them. Life is a lot less awkward once you quiet down and try to read the atmosphere before talking, not just in Japan, but everywhere.

I think I'm a bit better at nuance after finally getting used to how important it is here. Maybe when I go back to the U.S. I'll be at the level of a normal person, now. Maybe.